Ok, Im being a tad dramatic; Things have been stressful, its true. I wasted a lot of time applying for a job that turned in to a totally different job at interview. Consequently, I am wavering between wanting to repeatedly bang my head against my desk, to wanting to stand on top of it and scream, and wanting to do cartwheels around it. (A fascinating measure of the sheer breadth of my psychosis, don’t you think?) I’ve forgotten what my husband looks like and if my life was a book, this chapter would be entitled “who- the- hell- am- I- and- what- the- fuck- am- i- doing- with- my- life” . But Im ok really. My battle with sanity has plateaud, and although matters have not necessarily improved, life must continue on its hilarious, intolerable and fascinating course.
“Bloodied but unbowed, she continued...”
[I decided that right now things would be far simpler if only my life had a narrator. It would make everything clearer, don’t you think? Eg “She walked through the park realising that it was time to plan an exit strategy; she was scared, but little did she know that unlimited happiness and satisfaction were waiting for her just in the next chapter”....]
So, apart from providing you with a poignant and hopefully hilarious tour of the last frontier of my mind, you are probably wondering what the point of this post is. Well- I thought id share some lovely things with you; some things that have tied my feet with a piece of string to an anchor, made me cry and hurt with laughter, or made me feel warm and cosy in my belly.
Having proper tea at every opportunity. With tea cosy, sugar lumps, strainer, and a proper jug for the milk. There aint no ugly plastic milk bottles on MY tea tray. Nu- uh.
The lovely, slightly aged leather buttons on my new cardigan.
My husband. Well, the thought of him anyway. He has been spending approximately 12 hours a day with an orange furry puppet (with work)! So I am looking forward to retrieving him soon and communicating with him in more ways than a text message and a sleepy kiss on the cheek at some god forsaken hour in the morning as he sets off for the day.
The Life series with David Attenborough (one of my hero’s). The
Male Sage Grouse made me laugh more then I think Ive laughed at anything in my life (apart from the time my brother slipped on the side of the pool and landed on his balls.) Seriously click on the link and watch this bird- from minute 37. I was literally sat on my own, hysterically laughing; big fat tears rolling down my cheeks. I pondered briefly whether my hysteria was in fact a breakdown, but I have since been assured that this clip is in fact belly- hurtingly hilarious- go on watch it. Look at those bird man boobs go!
If you watch it from minute 35, you will see a bird couple dancing on water, so moments before my hysterical laughing, I was in fact hysterically crying, because this is so sweet!
My Brown brogues. I think these are the best thing Ive ever bought. They can be worn with EVERYTHING. I look at them constantly, and have to remember to look up, in order to prevent myself from walking into things.
And lastly- photos my dad sends me of The Dude. I’m seeing him (my baby bro) this weekend as I’m going home. And I can’t Wait!
So life continues on Hannah planet, if a little haltingly. With dashes of hysteria, and a wee dose of tears. And a lot of pondering and planning and thinking. Life is good, Im just in a new and slightly strange place...which is ok.
"She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and grimaced at her eye bags. To bed, she thought, and off she went. She dreamed about the time she would spend with her family and the dude, which would definitely be restorative and clarifying and reassuring, and then she bought puppies and beautiful shoes and lived in a castle with her mister and lived happily ever after... The end"
Night night!
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